Last Thursday, I went under the knife, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that I went under the little miniature camera and scissors and pincers, and whatever else they managed to cram into the small holes now healing in my abdominal wall. No, no, they probably did use a knife to make the small holes at least.
Maybe I should start over and say that I had a hernia repaired on Thursday, or more precisely I had two hernias repaired on Thursday. It seems that while the tissue on my right side had given up and let my intestines through, the tissue on the left wasn’t far behind. So, a surgeon went in and fixed it, as surgeons are wont to do, and now I am recovering. A couple of quick notes on surgery, for those uninitiated in the laparoscope: the surgeon makes three small incisions, one for the camera and light, and then two more for tools (surgery requires a little leverage).
Surgery also requires room to work, and since they don’t cut the area open for neat little laparoscopic surgeries, they have to create some room on the inside, so they pump carbon dioxide into the holes, and blow the patient up like a football, more or less. This means that, after the fact, I am left with three small scars where the tools entered my abdomen, and an immeasurably stretched, ripped and bloated feel in my abdominal muscles. I guess that is in part due to the swelling in the muscles, and maybe a little leftover trapped gas (they can’t very well squeeze it all out, have you ever tried deflating a football?) and maybe just residual stretch and tear, who knows.
Anyway, wish me a speedy recovery.